Sometimes I just want to scream. Like when I find out that the house we are living in (and totally LOVE) is not going to be our home for much longer, because the owner wants to sell it. We found out in February, but I am still irritated about it. We have looked at tons of houses on ksl and craigslist, but I haven't found anything that even made me want to make the effort to go look at. Why? Because I haven't seen one house that I like anywhere near as much as the house we're in. I keep hoping that the owner will change his mind. He had the house up for sale, but took it off the market when we moved in. We signed a lease until the end of May, and then agreed that we would re-evaluate at that point to decide if we wanted to sign a longer lease. What he failed to mention was the little fact that he might not want to re-lease the house, because he would really rather sell it than keep renting it. I love where we live. The house is old, but awesome. Perfect for our family of 9, with 4400 sq. ft. and 7 bedrooms, and a huge fenced yard. It's in a cul-de-sac, and right down the street from the elementary school. My kids love that because I let them walk, and they feel so grown up. Little do they know I'm the one really enjoying it because I don't have to pack up Amelia and Hayden to drive 20 ft. down the street to go get them. Our landlord says he wants to wait til closer to the end of our lease, and then discuss things then. I am hoping by then he will decide to let us stay.
Other things that want to make me scream? My husband. Well, I guess he's not a thing, but you know what I mean. Why? Because he decides maybe the fact that we can't stay in the house means we should try moving back to California. Never mind that I don't WANT to move back, I love Utah! Never mind that I just signed up for my second semester of school, and have my whole 2010-11 school year planned out so that I will be ready to apply to UVU's nursing program next spring. He tells me I can just transfer somewhere. Grrr! He has already applied at a couple places that will definitely want him, and is working on possibly going back to Kaiser - who would LOVE to get him back. Ugh! I feel like calling them and telling them to tell him they don't want him. Ok, not really. But I want to stay here. On one hand it would be nice. I miss my family, and I like the idea that maybe me and my mom could hang out and do stuff together while the kids were in school. Assuming that I could pry her out of bed before they got out. Haha! On the other hand, I love living in Utah. I really like how the church is all around. I like the school I am going to, and I don't want to transfer when I would most likely have to transfer to a community college because the Bay Area doesn't have any universities with open enrollment. I like being near my ex-husband's family. Even though I would love to be near my own family, I love getting to be near Dave and Sandy and all their family. I may be divorced from their son, but I love them and the rest of their family like they were my own, and I love getting to be around them and do stuff with them.
While I wait to see what we are going to end up doing, I have been looking at houses; both in the East Bay and in Utah. I feel discouraged about staying here because I haven't found anything and time is running out. It is really hard to find something that will work for a family this size. Also we have the issue with John's work, which prompted the search for a job in California in the first place. He works for a same day surgery center, and they haven't been very busy. That translates into John getting his hours cut. Last week he was cancelled twice. On his last paycheck he worked about 24 hours in a week, well below his regular 40+ hours. It is so frustrating. So he started looking for another job, and found one in CA, out in Novato that would be 5 12 hour shifts, and almost triple our income. So I guess I really can't complain, because it would be nice with 7 kids to not have to worry about money. I am just so tired of moving, and since I know that we are already going to have to move in 3 years for John to go to med school, I would rather not move until then. All I can say is, once we get the job/housing situation settled, I am SO signing a 3 year lease so I can finish school in one place before I have to move again. Also, I want the kids to be able to stay somewhere for more than a year. The older kids are in 3-5th grade, and they have never gone to the same school two years in a row! That is just insane! I just hope we get something figured out soon. I hate this being in limbo, waiting to figure out what we're going to do.
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