Thursday, September 16, 2010

The Job

Yesterday John accepted the job at the Mayo Clinic Hospital in Phoenix. It's not a 100% done deal yet. He still has to pass the drug screen/background check, so we should find out for sure the beginning on next week. We are excited because: 1- it pays more, 2- it has WAY better benefits, and 3- we would be near all our family we love and miss.

When I was on the phone with my dad talking about it, my mom was in the background saying how she will never come visit me if I move to Arizona. Really? Like I am so stupid I am going to believe that you are going to deprive yourself of 7 grandchildren because we're doing something you don't approve of. The biggest reason she doesn't think we should move? She doesn't think the kids should have to change schools. Well, I understand that it sucks that they would have to leave a school that we all love, but I wouldn't do it unless John and I felt like it was the right decision for our family. Also, we're not moving right away. John was offered 2 start dates, and accepted the date of November 1st. However, WE will not be heading down there then, just he will. There are 2 reasons for this. 1- Tyler got put into a really great 9 week behavior management program, and it starts next Monday and doesn't end until right before Thanksgiving. 2- Unless we find a house that we feel is THE house that we need to be in, we are considering having John commute while I stay here and allow the kids to finish the school year where they are. I know that would be a really tough sacrifice, but we think we can do it if we feel like that is what we should do. He will be working 4 10's, so it will be doable. Hard, but doable.

We have found a house that we love. It could possibly be THE house, but there are 2 other families that are interested in it. They are going to make a decision and let us know the beginning of next week. It is HUGE (bigger than the house we're in now), 30 minutes from John's new job, one house away from a huge park, across the street from a really great elementary school, in a really awesome and largely lds area, and we would be able to assume the loan held by the current owners. Not a lease option, it would be OURS! That would be a huge blessing because we would like to find somewhere to stay put, but we couldn't qualify for a loan right now. It is perfect for us though, so I am trying to pray and hope for it, without getting my hopes up too much and getting too attached. We'll see how that goes. . .

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Family

All my life it seems, I have struggled trying to find the balance between living my life the way I wanted and desperately seeking my parents approval. While I feel like I am much closer to the first, I think that I am coming to terms with the fact that the latter is something that is just never going to happen. No matter what decision I have made in my life, my parents have always been there to second guess me and tell me what a huge mistake I was making. And yes, sometimes they were right, but the thing is they are my mistakes to make. Would it be so bad to just be supportive? To say, I don't think it's the best choice, but I am going to support you and be here for you? Apparently the answer is yes, because it is something they are just not capable of doing. Not for me anyway.

Take our (hopefully) upcoming move to Arizona as an example:

I think the number one reason it makes me mad that they are acting this way about the move is that this move would put me right near almost ALL my extended family on BOTH sides of my family. Both of my sets of grandparents are alive and live in Phoenix, within 5 minutes of each other. All my aunts and uncles except one live there, and the majority of my cousins live there. It's like my parents are mad at me for wanting my own family in my life. I know that they think that I have some fairytale dream of what it will be like to live near my grandparents, and that I am in for a rude awakening when I try to spend time with them and they are failing in health and I have 7 kids ages 12 down to 1. I don't; I am trying to be realistic about it. I am sure that there will be times that they are too tired or worn out to deal with having my whole family around. I also know that I have 5 kids in school, and there will be opportunities for me to spend time with them with my 2 younger (quieter) children. I will have opportunities to help them and serve them, and let them know how much I love them.

The thing is, I don't want to miss out on any more time with them. I don't want my kids to miss out on knowing who they are, and what amazing people they are. I am trying to do the opposite of what my parents did to me. See, I grew up in Arizona. I lived there until I was 9, and then smack dab in the middle of the school year my parents ripped us away from my entire family to transplant us in the Bay Area where we had no family and knew no one, because of a job my dad got. I feel like I have spent the last 21 years missing out on the close relationships that all my other family members that still live in Arizona have, because they have all been together all this time. I don't want to lose any more time. If it means I have to move 10 hours away and go bake in 120 degree heat, then so be it. Life is too short to miss out on spending it with the most important people in your life.

Man, I was looking at one of my friends blogs and it said that I hadn't posted anything new in 2 months! So much for getting better at this. I will try and get new updates soon! I have lots to post about, especially Hayden's first birthday!